Why Listening is the Most Powerful Personal Strategy You Can Use - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

Why Listening is the Most Powerful Personal Strategy You Can Use - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career Getting support from others is less about showing how fabulous you are. Its more about showing them you know how fabulous they are. According to personal and professional development expert Brian Tracy in The Power of Charm, acceptance, appreciation, approval, admiration, and attention are key behaviors that make others feel more important and help win them over. Id actually add an adjective before each one: sincere. No one wants to be showered with false flattery, but they do like it when you genuinely notice things. And how do you show that? By listening. Over the last couple of weeks, the topic of listening has come up in a variety of places. From a reporter confiding to me about a source, He just didnt listen to my questions to the exasperated look I caught from a friend when the story she was telling was interrupted for the fifth time by one of our dinner companions. When people dont feel heard, they feel detached from you, and thats dangerous to the health of your personal brand and your network. In an era of mass A.D.D, has listening become a lost art? How can we become better listeners? Two ears one mouth Listening in person means paying attention to what someone is saying, without jumping in to hog the spotlight with your own insights. When they talk, its their moment, give them the space to shine. Resist the urge to be their color commentator. Its annoying, for example, when a friend starts saying, I was on a plane to Salt Lake City last week when…, and you jump in with a personal trivia nugget, Oh, Salt Lake City, thats such a great place for skiing. It reminds me of the time I… In other words, leave the pop-up video commentary to VH1. Showing that youre listening online is even more powerful, because when its so easy to post our thoughts, activities, and feelings everywhere, we dont want all those thoughts, activities and feelings to be about us. Actively read the blogs and status updates of your network, review their tweets, and share your reactions. Even better is to find opportunities to forward links to their content to your own network to help get their message in front of more people. Acknowledge those who took the time Im definitely trying to get better at responding to blog comments to acknowledge those whove taken the time. Its definitely a work in progress, but Ive made it a priority (by the way, if youre going to leave a comment, thank you in advance, Ill give a personalized reply as soon as I can!). You might be thinking, Who has time to listen when there is so much to pay attention to? Just because you cant pay attention to everyone, doesnt mean you shouldnt pay attention to anyone. Obviously, those whose work is most relevant to you will get more of your focus. And personally, I tend to pay more attention to people who are paying attention to me. Its just human nature, I think. Though you dont want someone to come on too strongly and try to be your BFF after three or four retweets (hey, I cant be bought that cheaply). To spoof a famous saying, In the land of the deaf, the one-eared man is king. If you can listen to your customers, your prospects, your interviewers, your colleagues, and your supporters even just a little bit better than your competitors do, youll have a big advantage even when all else is equal. Author: Liz Lynch is founder of the  Center for Networking Excellence and  author of Smart Networking: Attract a Following In Person and Online (McGraw-Hill, 2008).  She writes, speaks and consults to experienced professionals on  how to seamlessly integrate social media and traditional networking to save time and accelerate results.