Lights Out 7 night-time rituals that will make you happy and more productive

Lights Out 7 night-time bungs that will make you happy and mora productiveLights Out 7 night-time rituals that will make you happy and more productiveEverybody talks about morning rituals to get the day started right. (Even I have.) Butendingthe day right can be even more important. Why?Because your mindaint perfect when it comes to happiness. Itcheats.Daniel Kahneman, edel Prize winner and author ofThinking, Fast and Slow, has shown that your brain reallyremembers only two things about an eventThe emotional peakThe endViaThe Paradox of Choice Why More Is LessNobel Prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleagues have shown that what we remember about the pleasurable quality of our past experiences is almost entirely determined by two things how the experiences felt when they were at their peak (best or worst), and how they felt when they ended. This peak-end rule of Kahnemans is what we use to summarize the experience, and then we rely on that summary later to remind ou rselves of how the experience felt.If your brain is gonna cheat, you shouldcheat back. Lets game the system. If you structure your daysso that the peak is awesomeand the ending is awesomeyoull fool your imperfect noggin into a happier life.How? I am so very happy you asked. Lets get to it1) Have a Shutdown RitualWorkday is over. But your mind is still going and going and going. You gotta get your brain out of work mode to relax.A simple ritual can help. Have a consistent little routine that lets your overactive brain know were done.FromDeep Work Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted Worldsupport your commitment to shutting down with a strict shutdown ritual that you use at the end of the workday to maximize the probability that you succeed. In more detail, this ritual should ensure that every incomplete task, goal, or project has been reviewed and that for each you have confirmed that either (1) you have a plan you trust for its completion, or (2) its captured in a place where i t will be revisited when the time is right.Bestselling authorDan Pinkgives similar adviceEstablish a closing ritual.Know when to stop working. Try to end each work day the same way, too. Straighten up your desk. Back up your computer. Make a list of what you need to do tomorrow.Research shows writing down what you need to do the next dayrelieves anxiety and helps you enjoy your evening.(To learn the six things the most productive people do every day, clickhere.)Now youre out of work mode. You want to get happy, right?Wouldnt it be great if every day welches a Saturday? Impossible?Wrong, dear reader2) Turn Weeknights Into WeekendsFirst lets ask why are weekends so great?Researchsays thebig reason is more time with friends and familyA large portion of the weekend effects is explained by differences in the amount of time spent with friends or family between weekends and weekdays (7.1 vs. 5.4 hours). The extra daily social time of 1.7 hours in weekends raises average happiness by about 2%.So dont just sit on the couch by yourself when you get home. Spend 2 hours with friends or family and you just turned a dull Tuesday night into a happy Saturday.(To learn how to make your weekends more awesome, clickhere.)Okay, you cant go out and see friends every weeknight. What else makes evenings more enjoyable?3) Mastery, leid TVResearchshows that mastery experiences are also key to helping people recover from the workweek.So whats that mean?Doing stuff youre good at and trying to get better.Actively engage in a hobby,dont passivelysit on the couch.Most of us seek unscheduled free time for our leisure but given your brains lazy nature, research saysyoure likely to waste that time doing whats easy vs whats really fun.ViaRapt Attention and the Focused LifeSumming up, Cskszentmihlyi says, If left to their own devices and genetic programming, and without a salient external stimulus to attract them, most people go into a mode of low-level information processing in which they worr y about things or watch television. The antidote to leisure-time ennui is to pay as much attention to scheduling a productive evening or weekend as you do to your workday.(To learn what Harvard research says is the secret to being happier and more successful, clickhere.)Okay, youre actively engaging in a hobby.But your brain does notlage have an easy off switch.If you want a good nights snoozeyou need a ritual thathelps you wind down and lets your mind know its sleepy time4) Wind Down, Dont CollapseDim the lights and turn off all screens at least an hour before bed.You wouldnt walk around in bright daylight before trying to sleep for eight hours, would you? Well, when you stare at screens late at night, thats pretty much what youre doing.When I talked toRichard Wiseman,professor of psychology at the University ofHertfordshire and bestselling author ofNight School Wake up to the power of sleep,he saidTen minutes of a smartphone in front of your nose is about the equivalent of an hour long walk in bright daylight.Imagine going for an hour long walk in bright daylight and then thinking, Now Ill get some sleep. It aint going to happen.(For more on how to get an amazing nights sleep, clickhere.)So no screens. And if you want to maintain a happy relationship, what should youneverdo before bedtime?5) DontGo To Bed Angry With Your PartnerKarl Pillemerof Cornell University interviewed nearly 1500 people age 70 to 100+ for his book 30 Lessons for Living Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans.What did they recommend most often for a happy relationship?Via30 Lessons for Living Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americansif there was one ubiquitous recommendation about marriage it was this Dont go to bed angry.Why might this be so powerful?Via30 Lessons for Living Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americansmost things that couples disagree upon arent worth more than a days combat The joy that many of the experts express on waking in the morning next to a pa rtner of decades is the flip side of this insight. Each additional day together is agift. The end of the day means the end of hostilities, the recognition that the underlying shared values and commitment to the relationship trump the need for one last dig or self-righteous justification.Not going to bed angry doesnt mean stay up and fight. Just let it go. Kiss and make up.(To learn the four most common relationship problems - and how to fix them, clickhere.)And its probably no surprise that the single most proven method for increasing happiness is something best done before bed. Here it is6) Write Down The Good Stuff That HappenedIve mentioned this a bunch in the past. But if youre still not doing it, you need to start.This is all you have to doPut a notepad and pen by the bed.Before you go to sleep each night, write down three things that happened that day which youre thankful for.Then write a sentence about why each happened.This technique has been provenagainandagainandagain. He re it is, explained by its originator, University of Pennsylvania professor Martin Seligman.ViaFlourish A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-beingEvery night for the next week, platzdeckchen aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went wellWriting about why the positive events in your life happened may seem awkward at first, but please stick with it for one week. It will get easier. The odds are that you will be less depressed, happier, and addicted to this exercise six months from now.Researchshows themore you think about happy things the happier youll be. Simple but true. So reminders are powerful.(To learn how to make your life better by sending 5 simple emails, clickhere.)Now your brain may cheat when it comes to happiness but it can also be your best ally. Sometimes dreams are far better than reality. How can you use that to your advantage?7) ScheduleSomething To Look Forward ToStudies show anticipation can actually bemoreenjoyablethan getting the thing youre anticipating.FromThe Myths of Happiness What Should Make You Happy, but Doesnt, What Shouldnt Make You Happy, but Doesresearchers who studied a thousand Dutch vacationers concluded that by far the greatest amount of happiness extracted from the vacation is derived from the anticipation periodPeople who devote time to anticipating fun experiences are happier.From Shawn AchorsThe Happiness AdvantageOne study found that people who just thought about watching their favorite movie actually raised their endorphin levels by 27 percent. Often, the most enjoyable part of an activity is the anticipation. If you cant take the time for a vacation right now, or even a night out with friends, put something on the calendar- even if its a month or a year down the road. Then whenever you need a boost of happiness, remind yourself about it.Schedule a meal with a friend or designate a time the next day to indulge yourself with something simple t hat you love to do. Then be excited about it. Thats all it takes.(To learn the four rituals neuroscience says will make you happier, clickhere.)Okay, lets round all this up and learnthe easiest way to get startedSum UpHeres your new evening ritual for happinessHave a shutdown ritual.Write down worries and make a plan for tomorrow. Work is over.Turn weeknights into weekends.Weekends are happier because of time with friends. So see friends. Not hard.Mastery, not TV.Hobbies make you happier. Spend nights getting awesome at something.Wind down, dont collapse.No screens. No coffee. No skydiving.Never go to bed angry with your partner.Kiss and make up. And kiss. And kiss some more.Write down the good stuff that happened.Force your brain to think about the good and life will be good.Schedule something to look forward to.Anticipation is like 401K matching for happiness. Double thehappies.Your brain cheats. Cheat back.Plan a good thing for tomorrow to have an emotional high point, end the da y right and you can trick your mind intohappiness.And dont wait. Right now, send this to a friend and plan something fun for tomorrow. That way youre half done.As the saying goes, Alls well that ends well. So end the day well, my friend.Join more than 300,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Related postsHow To Get People To Like You 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior ExpertNew Neuroscience Reveals 4 Rituals That Will Make You HappyNew Harvard Research Reveals A Fun Way To Be More SuccessfulThis article first appeared at Barking Up the Wrong Tree